Nasty stuff, especially since Bryan presumably imagined that if she made it into one of Jay-Z’s raps it would be in a context like, “I enjoy looking intently into Carmen’s eyes / I am so attuned to her thoughts and feelings / It’s like she’s my best friend / Her trenchant insights are so appealing.” (via AV Club)
WANTED: SMALL FORTUNE AFFORDING LIFE OF LEISURELY ESOTERIC STUDY - $500000
(via nocoastoffense)
Front of card:
“Natural rights are grounded in human nature. Human nature is a rational substance in relationship. The intelligible end of the reproductive act is reproduction. Do you understand that?” (via TPM)
Inside of card: We’re having a babby!
I think I just found the perfect pregnancy announcement. Now I just need to pick out a font…and have a babby.
This is going to be my afternoon, at this point it’s just a matter of picking a role to play.
WTF CPD
“As an investigation intensified into the burglary that a Chicago police sergeant was responding to when he fatally crashed on Lake Shore Drive, department officials called today for the stiffest penalties possible should anyone be arrested.” (via CBN)
Whoa, that right there is some Wicker Man-type shit. Unless I’m missing something, this is between the CPD and an icy patch of road.
Yeah, the officer was responding to a burglary, but hopefully I don’t need to explain how causation works or the random nature of tragedy and the human condition to the effin’ Chicago Police Department.
Let these hopped-up avenging officers go sodomize a tree with a baton or salt the shit out of Lake Shore Drive if that’s what it takes…anything else would just be r-worded.
I think I’m just going to turn this into a GIF and let it run forever.
